Sometimes, we vegans need to decompress and just laugh at the absurdity of humanity! This video showcases some of “the best the internet has to offer.” So, take a load off and enjoy my sarcastic-laden responses to some of the weirder vegan hate comments I’ve received. tweet this
Be sure to let me know which was your favorite hate comment! Or, if you are not at all amused, leave me a hate comment of your very own!
Technical Notes: I’ve included some select portions of the video transcript below, along with resources I mention to the commenters. There are far more comments in the video than in the article, but I did include a note on “appearance critics” that is not in the video.
Overall, this video is truly meant for watching/listening, not reading. You’ll not only miss out on the comments I haven’t included below, but also you’ll be deprived of my brilliant comedic delivery (nailed it), my excessive gesturing, and the magnificence of the various commenters’ profile photos.
A “Gotcha” Comment (the hilarity of undeserved anger)
I thought I’d share a “gotcha” comment that someone posted under my video “Can Veganism Solve World Hunger?” (at 01:08 in the video):
My response: If you watch the full video, everything that he talked about, comes out of my very vegan face!
So, your “gotcha” moment is actually something that I say in the video that you’re telling me is “full of wrong information.” (Maybe just give it a full watch next time.)
This is one of my favorite things, you guys, about the internet and about YouTube—is when people get really upset about what you said or didn’t say in a video that they have not watched.
And sometimes, my very favorite—oh I love it!—is when they’ll actually tell me that they didn’t watch the video, but that they’re so angry about what I said in the video that they just had to comment and they had to tell me.
That’s my favorite: “I was too angry to watch this, but I’ve just had to comment to tell you how angry I am about what you said in this video that I did not watch.”
Hate Comments About My Appearance
I highly recommend watching the “lightning round” of comments about my appearance (at 02:21 in the video). Here are a few select gems:
My Giant Vegan Head
This is a double-barrel insult starting with one comment from Shota Burduli, to which Hugo Anderson then helpfully replies:
My response: I would think, if anything, that might mean that I have like amazing brain nutrition and I’ve grown my brain so much, as a vegan, that my skull has expanded to fit my brilliance.
Thank you, veganism!
Don’t Sugarcoat It
This is one where you really need to watch/listen to the video for the timing/delivery of my response. I’ll do my best to reproduce it by breaking down my reply to what I say as I read each part of this comment.
My response(s) as I read the comment: “I won’t sugarcoat this” — Thank God, because, let me tell you…my biggest issue with YouTube and the internet is people sugarcoating their comments. I’ve had enough of it!
“You look unhealthy and anything but beautiful (body-wise).” — What does that mean? I must look beautiful inside! (That really means a lot.)
“This is coming from a vegan.” — Oh! (That makes it mean even more…)
Expect to Lose Your Eyebrows
To understand the brilliance of this one, you need to know the video that it was posted on. This is on my video “What to Expect Emotionally When Going Vegan“:
My response: Oh, I see…that’s a comment on my eyebrows.
Well you know, Oswurth, eyebrows are the emotional curtains of the windows to the soul, so absolutely you should expect that..of course.
The Common Theme of Appearance Critics
In the video, I point out a common theme about almost everybody who comments on my appearance, saying, “Let’s take a look at their profile photos.” Shockingly, they are just avatars or generic letters.
As I say in my reply to the first “appearance” commenter, Dan Renter, who creatively said, “she looks unhealthy” — I see you’ve really gone out on a limb to showcase your appearance on the internet, Dan…
When you’re “publicly vegan” online, you will get comments on your appearance. I’ve been (simultaneously!) too skinny, too fat, too muscly, too weak (non-muscly), etc.
It’s not really about me. There are plenty of reasons why things “come out sideways” when it comes to veganism.
Check out “How Smart People Think Their Way Out of Veganism” and other content about justifications and rationalizations for more about the inherent resistance to veganism.
For me personally, these kinds of comments do not phase me in the slightest. As you can (hopefully) tell in the video, I find them hilarious.
However, I know they can be very painful for many people who receive them. So, if you ever have someone online criticizing your appearance or your personality—just know that most people don’t have the guts to truly put themselves out there, much less take a public stand for anything of true import.
This isn’t anything I say in the video, but to everyone out there fighting for a cause and dealing with the built-in vulnerability of doing so—I see you, I appreciate you, and you are made of Damascus steel.
Vegans, Nazis & Communists
Now we’ve come to a heavy-hitter, everyone: “Nathan Talks” (his username).
And Nathan…does…talk.
This is another one that I highly recommend watching/listening to, as I cannot possibly convey in written form my delivery of Nathan’s utterly fascinating thought processes. (at 04:55 in the video) But I have included below most of my response, and the resources I recommend to Nathan (which he will never reference…)
My response (in part): Oh Nathan, you do talk. First off I feel like the beginning of this: “Vegans Nazis and Communists”—is that you started a joke that you forgot to finish.
But you’re totally cool with vegetarians—so it seems that it’s specifically someone who chooses not to eat cheese. That’s where the heart…of Nathan’s anger…is seated.
That’s what brings vegans…to the level…of Nazis and Communists—is not eating cheese. And the reason is because cheese is “the only joy left in a terrible, terrible world.”
Well ,you know, I don’t mean to be a bummer, Nathan, but I’m a vegan and as you know— we’re as bad as Nazis…
You seem to be okay with someone saying, “I don’t want to take the life of a sentient being and eat their flesh.” You’re okay with that.
Choosing not to consume dairy is actually just a further extension of choosing not to consume the flesh of sentient beings because cheese and dairy products are also killing and taking the life of a sentient being.
Dairy cows are sexually violated over and over to produce babies the babies are taken and killed for veal if they’re male. If the baby’s a girl, she sometimes is killed—or she’s just put into service like her mother to become a milk machine because her mom’s body is gonna crap out in about four-to-five years, even though cows can live twenty-plus years.
I know that there’s a lot of serious stuff that I could bring up about Nathan Talks, but I’m still just fascinated by the way his brain works.
I’ll link to a bunch of stuff that you can watch about the realities of dairy but, Nathan, I don’t think you’re gonna watch it. (I don’t think you’re watching this.)
Pigs Going to University
This comment (and it’s a long one) was on one of the videos in my “Live at a UK slaughterhouse” livestream, where I was filming pigs at a UK slaughterhouse. (at 07:27 in the video)
My response (in part): That’s a lot to unpack, Ian. You have blessed us with one of the longest sentences—that is a single sentence. That’s too much. We need a paragraph break…or something.
I’m gonna try to actually reply to some of Ian’s points (I think). I think part of the mockery here is that “Oh if we didn’t eat them, it’s not like they were gonna go have a home and a white picket fence and a university education.”
Does that mean that any human being who doesn’t get a white picket fence and doesn’t have a University education doesn’t have a right to live? I’m not really sure what we’re going for here, Ian.
As far as “quit interfering with people trying to do their jobs” I’m assuming you might mean the slaughterhouse workers? I actually have a video about how traumatic work in a slaughterhouse is but Ian, I don’t know if you’re really wanting that kind of sincerity, from me.
I do have a video, Ian, all about amazing facts about pigs. You might enjoy it—you won’t. You won’t watch it, Ian.
Closing Thoughts…
I hope that this video gave you a laugh. Being vegan can be intense—even traumatic. We’re aware of so much suffering and injustice.
It’s important—vital, actually—to decompress and practice self-care. Now, to be honest, this is coming from someone who is perhaps the worst at following this advice. But that is a huge reason why I made this video.
I just spent a few weeks totally overhauling my core speech for non-vegans (among many other things), and my brain needed a break! I hope this gave you one! If you need an even bigger break, check out more vegan humor content!
Which was your favorite “hate comment” from the video? Let me know in the comments! If this did give you a laugh, please share the joy with others—we all could use it!
— Emily Moran Barwick
The post Responding to Weird Vegan Hate Comments appeared first on Bite Size Vegan.